Why is it dark? I’m looking at the lights and I can’t see anything. That’s twice today.

Why is this happening? What is wrong with me?

The doctors don’t have any answers. The coaches and the athletic trainers, no answers.

I, don’t have any answers.

I’m alone. Who can I call? Not the team. They’re half a country away. My family? They’re half a world away. My girlfriend. Yes, that’s it.

“Sydney, I need you to get over here right away.”

My door. The door is locked. How will Sydney get in my room? I need to open the door. Time to stand. I feel like I’m going to pass out. My legs are shaking. I’ve got to fight through this.

Nothing.

Emil Freese-Vilien collapsed on the floor of his dorm room on Monday, Nov. 15.